Keith and the stapler…

I love the way it feels when I’m the first one in at work in the morning.

I’m in charge when nobody else is there, I’m the King of the Castle.

I can do whatever I please and most days what I please is snooping. Snooping in desk drawers, especially Janine’s, I’d love to get in her draws…

She’d never look twice at me, I don’t think she even knows my name. That wouldn’t stop her taking out a restraining order on me if she realises what I’ve been doing to her personal belongings.

It wasn’t as though I planned it, I didn’t sit at home thinking about licking her stapler and pens. It was an impulsive reaction.

I just wanted to feel closer to her and since she will never even talk to me and probably doesn’t even know I exist, this is the only way I could think of being closer to her.

It’s not as though I’m spying on her or stalking her.

Is it really that bad?

Yes fair enough, sometimes they do taste pretty nasty but it’s exciting when I think about her touching something that I’ve licked and she doesn’t even know it!

Then she uses the same hand that she’s touched the licked item with to tuck her hair behind her ears or puts her hands over mouth when she yawns.

It’s quite incredible the amount of times that we touch our own faces and are just not aware of it. Well I’m aware of when Janine does it because it’s like I’m right there touching her and she is totally clueless.

She doesn’t even know I exist.

She will do one day, I’ll even tell her about the licking and she’ll find it romantic, endearing even and we’ll get married and have babies and I’ll never have to lick her stapler again. Unless of course she asks me to…





Don’t ever let anyone make you think you’re not good enough. 

Follow your dreams right now! Don’t wait until tomorrow, 

next week, next year. Stop planning, start doing 🙂

‘Blind faith is no way to run a world’ – Victor Stenger

R = A x EIM x t

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