How To Survive…Zombies

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Image result for zombies

 

 

Here is my collection of survival tips from the people who were there, eye-witness accounts from the survivors…

“You weren’t there man!”

This blog post actually incited a panic attack…so enjoy.

 

  1. Get lots and lots of stabby weapons…
  2. Acquire a big, giant off-road vehicle, suitable for driving over corpses.
  3. Kill the people who suggest going to police stations, hospitals etc. These people will only continue to make stupid suggestions. They’re better off dead now. Or keep them around to kill later for food.
  4. Ditch the friends you have now and replace them with people like Ray Mears and Chuck Norris.
  5. Fighting zombies with a hangover is not a good idea…just stay drunk instead.
  6. As tempting as it might be, selfies with zombies are just not cool.
  7. This is not the time for sentiment. If your kids are slowing you down, it’s time to ditch them.
  8. The best way to kill zombies? On roller-blades! Break those bad boys out of the loft right now!
  9. Move! This is not the time to be getting all homely.
  10. Don’t die.

Catch you on the flip-side , mother f**kers!

 

 

Don’t ever let anyone make you think you’re not good enough.Β 

Follow your dreams right now! Don’t wait until tomorrow,Β 

next week, next year. Stop planning, start doing πŸ™‚

Be happy and keep smiling πŸ˜€

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