If you have ever visited The Mart Theatre you may have noticed a strange man scuttling about, a wild look in his eyes as though he is on the prowl, most likely looking for chocolate.
You’d be forgiven for thinking that you had just encountered a reincarnation of David Bowie, unfortunately it’s just Andy Lynan.
Andy has achieved incredibly wonderful things at The Mart Theatre, (the only theatre in the world to be run from within a working auction mart) he works tirelessly and often on little to no sleep to create unforgettable events for the folk of Skipton and beyond.
Although Andy longs for the day of the creation of the Reality Bomb, to eradicate the Universe of everything, and he would have you believe that he’s cruel and heartless, he is actually, deep down, just a fluffy kitten. And slightly unhinged as you will see from this Q&A…
1. Why are the FBI knocking at your door?
They think I’m involved with a terrorist group called Al-CAT-eda they think I’m plotting to start s**tting in other people’s gardens- those crazy Feds.
2. What can you hear right now?
Just the voices of the kitten high command of Al-CAT-eda! No but seriously all I hear is past plays I’ve been in, future lines from scripts I’m writing and my own worries and doubts and past conversations that I wish I had said differently or future conversations that I know I’ll never be brave enough to have.
3. Are we there yet?
You’re the driver! Where are you taking me and let me know when we’re there, I’m napping.
4. Describe the colour purple to a blind person
I probably wouldn’t try, I’d be too busy stroking their dog. I know an amazing blind dog called Ralph who is getting to the age where he has to retire and his owner will need to give him up and get a new one. That must be devastating but he just isn’t allowed to keep him even as a pet once he gets to a certain age. I really need that dog! Anyway I digress.
5. What is your message to the world?
If I was ever in a position where I was able to deliver a message to the world; I’m sure I’d be assassinated very quickly.
6. Who is going to play you in the movie of your life?
The only other man-boy I can think of offhand is Dane DeHaan. He has that sociopath look that would portray me well and people have commented that they thought of me when they saw him in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Kind of a desperate, bitter, selfish prick was how someone once put it. His voice is pretty deep too so it would butch me up a bit.
7. Where are you going?
Hell! Better than sitting around bored on a cloud when I could be bombing around in a fiery chariot….. but seriously I don’t think I’m going anywhere in life or after it. I’ve turned down too many opportunities, not taken enough chances and been denied the things I wanted due to feelings of others. So I think I’m staying here….until I’m dead and then there will be nothing.
See… completely unhinged! Thanks Andy, you mentalist…
Don't ever let anyone make you think you're not good enough. Follow your dreams right now! Don't wait until tomorrow, next week, next year. Stop planning, start doing :)