My inner ‘Monica’ is having a meltdown!
(If you don’t get the Monica reference then I suggest that you just go away and reassess your life decisions)
If you know me, you will know that I can’t stand mess and when there are dishes piling up in the sink or the laundry bag is almost bursting and clothes are starting to walk themselves to the washing then that’s round about the time that I’ll be having a nervous breakdown. The situation would never get that bad because I would have screamed at Chris and Christopher in an indirect fashion that the house is always a mess and that it’s always covered in s**t. Then I’d slam a few doors, throw things down the stairs and eventually I’d get some help.
I’m always filling my days, evenings and weekends with ‘doing stuff’, so routine and order has always been extremely important so that I could have time to do the ‘stuff’ without stressing about home life.
For the last two weeks though I have been rehearsing for Panto and I’ve barely had time to eat, let alone clean the house. ( In fact I’m surprised that this post is even getting written… It is most definitely not going to be the greatest or most informative post I’ve ever done.) I actually feel rather calm, if you take away the constant nausea, the 3am panicking about learning my lines and the overwhelming urge to run everyone over, this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years.
I’ve just accepted the fact that, although Chris is being awesome and getting the washing done and keeping the house generally tidy, it’s not going to be in a state of perfection. I just don’t even care. And that is pretty extraordinary.
So from now on I’m just going to do Panto constantly for the rest of my life, this will mean I will lose weight from the nerves and lack of food and I won’t have time to care about the state of my house. Although eventually I won’t have a house to worry about because it will get repossessed due to the fact that I can’t work anymore on account of being too knackered from performing.
So I’ll be homeless, jobless and broke. Yay! Merry Christmas 😉
Don’t ever let anyone make you think you’re not good enough.
Follow your dreams right now! Don’t wait until tomorrow,
next week, next year. Stop planning, start doing 🙂